The Help

I am not comparing my situation in anyway to this movie. However it did cause me to reflect.

Changing is terrifying. Not all of us are in danger, not all of us are even trying to make a change in the world. But in our own worlds within the space between eyebrows and cranium we sometimes do set out to make changes in those places.

Facing opposition and going headlong into confrontation is necessary to effect real change. No one is going to step aside and take it gracefully. Heck, I can't even accept change on my favorite social network let alone in other aspects of my life. But I accept and move on. Just like those oppositions I face will do... eventually.

Side note on change...

When I was young I would see others crying in movies and think "well that's embarrasing" and sit with a stony cold stare. Now I cry at just about everything. I believe, maybe not for everyone, but definitely for me, I believe I've had to experience real pain (which is relative and may vary from person to person) to appreciate others' more fully. And the pain that I've had in my life is nothing compared with so many others. I cannot imagine how they cope, but am grateful for that example.

Catching a glimpse...

Setting goals can be easy. You write lists on a piece of paper. You forget about the piece of paper, or the goal, and you get wrapped up in your life, in putting foot in front of foot. Then some time, you have the urge to look back, and see what you have already accomplished, and you look forward and you catch a clearer glimpse at where you are going.

I've been seeing glimpses of goals becoming reality. Of the change in myself. I like it. And I am more determined that it is possible. Reinvention is doable without feeling a loss... but feeling a growth. Reinvention is a weird word, one of too much intention and forethought. But if you notice that you make one small goal, and move forward in accomplishing it, other things fall into place, backs straighten, shoulders square, knees forget to wobble.

I am so woefully behind in everything I want to do yet. Today is a weird day to be typing this since I've just been wading in my own inadequacies and I need to remember to hold onto that thought. That I can become what I envision, and I am capable of doing what I want. Regardless of expectation.